To the guy who busted up my car: THANK YOU! Your actions were prescient. They will give me a definite landmark for remembering this day. By just about 24 hours, you predicted the rage I feel now. You make me realize how inconsequential an act it really was, and how privileged I am to be able to recover from this affront rather quickly.

Yesterday, just mere hours after you dumped the neatly separated recycling container housing the plastic juice bottles, almond milk containers, and the thick glass jar that once contained peppers, the jar that likely created the spider-web of damage on the windshield of my honda civic, I listened attentively as a lawyer for the former President of the United States made arguments to the Supreme Cout of the United States. The topic- if the state of Colorado could refuse access to the ballot for the former president, since they decided he committed insurrection to the Country of the United States (or gave aide and comfort to those who did).

What was I expecting? Was the lawyer for the former President of the United States going to defend his client by arguing he did NOT committ insurrection? Well for 2 hours I heard at most (rounding up) 5 minutes on this. I DID hear a lot of argument of why the former President of the United States was NOT an OFFICER of the United States, and some list of officers OF the United States that are specifically listed UNDER the President of the United States. I did hear the term “Collateral Estoppel” a lot. I googled it, with full faith it would be a trending search term. It wasn’t. A court, previously showing so much deference to “States Rights” was asking over, and over, ‘if we decide for this state, isn’t that state deciding for the country?’

I also heard much discussion about the intent of the Foiurteenth Amendment- it was written just after the civil war, so it was only meant for the southern rebels of the Civil war, it’s been a 150 years, and it’s never been used. Should we really use it now?

Finally I heard a lot of whining about a deadline and the word “holds.” It says he can’t “HOLD” office, it doesn’t say he can’t “RUN” for office. If he ran for office at 34 and a half, but would turn 35 on inaugruation day, then the state disallowing access to the ballot was “Pushing up the deadline.” That’s like arguing a 16-year old should be able to buy a 6-pack because we can’t know his intent, maybe he plans to let that Coors light age like fine wine for five years? Who are we to know? There’s one thing I know about the former President of the United States… He’s not 34 and-a-half. Though he may be as bright as the 16 year old buying Coors light (at least get PBR, kid). Somewhat dejected, completely stupefied by the apparent acceptance that the former President of the United States, did in fact committ inssurrection, (by the Supreme Court of the United States), I listened to the legal scholars analyses soon after the hearings. I bargained- (maybe they will split the difference, not take the DC appeals case, giving time for the former President of the United States to stand trial on 91 felony counts before he’s potentially able to win back the presidency and absolve himself of any consequences).

I went out to go shopping. Walking down my front steps I saw garbage strewn about… Did a hungry wild animal smell food and try to get in my garbage? Wow they really did a number on this garbage. Then I saw my car… no animal did that, (the conservatives in this country would call him an animal, I reserve the right to treat him as a human being, one who did an odd, or angry act).

Not long after reporting the scene to my wife, getting in touch with a repair shop, I learned from neighbors that this human being did in fact dump garbage on top of several cars on my street. Weird. I cleaned the garbage off my car and sidewalk, re-sorted the reclycing, then came back inside to hear the breaking news. ‘Special Counsel will not press charges against the President of the United States.’ Were there details about technical legal reasons why he would not be charged? Was there more or less a consensus that the President of the United States committed a crime? Was it as important or grave as the actions adjudicated before Supreme Court of the United States that morning? Was it easier to understand and, therfore, more headline-provoking?

By the time I went to bed the top 5 stories on the NY Times were all related to the President of the United States not being charged, and his memory slipping. The special counselor, who I’m going on a limb here, is not a doctor, seemed to question the memory of the President of the United States. Wow, what digging. What nonesense and conjecture. The special counselor reported the potential breach of classified documentation was about the President of the United States retaining his own handwritten notes. This must have been a failure in his memory. The special counselor also suggested, on what basis I don’t know, that the President of the United States forgot when his son died. Wow, you must be losing it to forget when your son died, right? The NY Times pontificaes that this will assuredly be a blow to the credibility of the President of the United States. They also highly place a story of another horrible incident- the President of the United States used the name of the former head of state of Germany instead of the correct one for the time period he was talking about (in another forum, years afterwards).

The “BUT HIS AGE!” campaign is taking off. This is no coincidence. The standard is being set- the American people are being forced to consider conjecture about a law-abiding President above the seemingly agreed upon fact that the former President committed treason. All I can say is, thanks to the guy who dumped garbage on my car, it gave me a great story to write about!

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